I'm not brave enough.

My hands would jst tremble. i'm feeling very insecure. I jst feel like crying any moment. I cannot seem to concurrr my fear of darkness. I jst have the bad feelings that something bad is going to happen. I wouldnt forget what happened yrs ago. I remembered myself feeling so-not me, each and every moment i wanted somebody by myside cos i know inside me was not okay at all. My minds would always float. My mum know that i'm really scared of those things, and she was always worried whenever i go for camps. She would make the extra effort to tell my friends to take care of me knowing that i would feel insecure when i had my nights out. I'm really scared. I kept telling myself that i have to learn to be dependent instead of relying on others. I dont want others to feel that i'm diffferent. Yes, i know i;m timid and kind of coward. Because i know myself too well that i would hesitate, and then take a step back. Because i'm jst not brave enough. I feel so stuck in this situation that i;m so bothered by it. I dont have much strength, but a whole lot of weaknesses. Ever since young, i was very much bothered such things. Whenever i closed my eyes, i would feel insecure. People might be thinking, what's there to be afraid of? How i wish i'm not that timid. I need brave pills. My religion kept me going on whenever i'm feeling to the extreme insecure-ness. Nonetheless, i know that i'm jst not brave enough. Each time i wanted to prove that i'm not as chicken as people think, but i always failed. Cos i know myself too well. And all the others would tell me to concurr this and that, is not as easy as you think.